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If you always see yourself as the victim, it's time to take a step back and figure out why you feel that way. Why? This style of thinking is referred to in the medical field as a "Victim Mentality," and if you want to overcome it, you must alter your perspective.
I have received training to instruct my clients on these topics, and although I am a certified Master Transformation Life Coach, I am not a therapist, counselor, or physician. As mentioned in this MEDICAL DISCLAIMER, the material presented here does not constitute medical advice. There is no intention to provide medical advice with this information or materials; they are just meant to be educational and informational. This contains the workbook content, lecture videos, and suggested assignments. The information I offer in my capacity as a Master Transformation Life Coach is not intended to substitute expert medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. As your transformation coach, I always recommend that you speak with your doctor or another qualified healthcare professional if you have a question concerning a recognized or suspected medical issue. As your transformation coach, I will never suggest that you disregard the advice of your doctor or other healthcare provider. I will try my best to provide you the most accurate information possible, but I cannot promise it. Instead, I can only presume that the data presented is based on the newest studies.
What is victim mentality?
When you frequently believe you are the victim, regardless of the available facts, you have a victim mentality. Frequent blaming of others and difficulty taking responsibility are warning signs.
Identify the Signs of Victim Mentality
Typical of a victim mentality, which consists mostly of attributing failures to things outside of one's
difficulty accepting blame or understanding one's role in a given scenario holding unreasonable standards for oneself or others self-sabotage
having only friends that share your views.
Cognitive (mental) symptoms
negative outlook on the world due to feeling threatened or injustice.
catastrophizing is an example of a cognitive distortion.
negative outlooks or destructive thought processes
dwelling on wrongs done to oneself in the past
feelings of wanting to hurt oneself or end one's life.
Predictors of not been able to have a Happy Relationship
issues with close relationships and trust
an inability to connect emotionally.
restricted capacity to feel what others are going through.
distrust in established authorities
scoring partners in interactions
problems taking criticism in a productive way.
When it comes to expressing feelings
You may suffer from the following or this circumstance are affecting your emotions.
anxiety
depression
not being noticed
regret or remorse
depression due to poor self-esteem
frustration with other people
"I'm all alone in the world"
Ways to deal with someone who always looks for someone to blame
If you care about someone and want to see them take responsibility for their life, dealing with indicators of a victim mentality can be challenging.
In this situation, you might want to:
inspire them to go for help from an expert
inspire in them confidence in their own strength as they establish and uphold appropriate limits
Avoid exhausting encounters and fight the need to save others around you.
Find out how to avoid falling into codependency.
If you've reached a point where you feel like these emotions are interfering with your regular life, and you feel like they're growing worse, you may want to get help. I hope you'll make the effort to consult a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, or counselor.
In spite of the stigma attached to seeking professional help for mental health issues, doing so can actually help you improve your mental wellbeing. Sometimes we bottle up our feelings and emotions for so long that we eventually explode in a way that we probably shouldn't have. I've always maintained that it's impossible to undo the damage done by rash or angry behavior or words.
Now ask yourself the following questions:
Describe three times you felt helpless or mistreated. Each time:
1. First, jot down some notes on your emotions and the circumstances that gave rise to them.
2. Then examine your writing closely and see if it accurately reflects your thoughts and feelings. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you wrote.
3. Is it true that your spouse actually mistreated you in some way to make you feel guilty about having an affair? No. They did what they thought was right based on their current worldview. Nothing about you was included in their decision-making process.
After answering this question initiate the next three steps:
1. Own your feelings of guilt, shame, regret, and repressed rage.
2. Decide how to go forward constructively in your life.
3. Forgive both your spouse and yourself for any mistakes made while acting unaware.
This is a non-profit organization, so if you're interested in learning more about changing your mindset, feel free to set up a discovery call. It would be my pleasure to assist you in effecting the kind of change in your life that would allow you to realize your goals.
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