.png)
We've all been through something traumatic as a kid, and although some of us have moved on, others are still carrying the scars into adulthood. When I bring up horrific incidents in people's childhoods, they refuse to believe that they experienced any of it. Negligence is not only the abuse; it's also the emotional damage. I say this because if you take a moment to reflect on your own past, you will realize that at least one of the following is true of every single one of us.
Neglected by a parent
Dead of a family member at your early age
Trouble adjusting to new environments due to frequent moves and the upheaval caused by your parents' divorce at a young age
Parents who are deployed or who work out of town
To which we respond, “Raise we, your essential needs have not been fulfilled.”
verbal abuse from anybody, including yelling and being called names
Abuse of both a sexual and physical kind was common, and when I say "physical abuse," I don't mean every time we were whooped for being naughty; rather, I mean the beatings that were both unnecessary and painful.
Before we go any farther with our discussion on this subject, I would want to notify you of the following:
This topic is covered in greater depth in my Life Purpose Life Coaching Program. If you would like to learn why your childhood has had such an impact on your adult life and delve deeper into your own childhood, you can do so by going to the "book online" tab and setting up a time for your free coaching sessions. If you are ready to start making great changes in your life, I encourage you to join my Life Coaching program so that we may work together to achieve your goals. We're going to have a conversation on a variety of topics, including things like happiness, forgiveness, and empowerment, all of which have the potential to assist you in reimagining your life and locating your actual vocation. Do not be shy; Way of the Wise Owl is a charitable organization, and the consultation that you have with us will not cost you a penny. Let's keep our fingers crossed for a quick reply.
The Long-Term Consequences of Childhood Abuse and Neglect
There are a variety of different impacts that may occur as a result of childhood trauma, and these effects can be very complex depending on the kind of trauma and the kid themselves. It is possible for a youngster to create their own sorts of coping strategies that enable them to operate day-to-day in order to live if they come from a household that does not give a feeling of security and safety for that child. Since they are used to having a parent or career lash out at them, they may go through life walking on eggshells. The end effect is an increased level of sensitivity to each encounter as well as the emotions of other people, with the accompanying anxiety that the person may explode into wrath. These youngsters acquire the ability to adapt by suppressing their own feelings and creating disruptions in their environments. They hid their fear, rage, and despair behind a mask.
"The National Child Traumatic Stress Network reports that there is a robust correlation between exposure to traumatic events in childhood and later engaging in high-risk behaviors and developing chronic diseases including cardiovascular disease and cancer." (DH) Those who have been abused are more prone to suffer from stress and worry in later years of their lives. This kind of chronic stress and worry may give rise to a whole host of medical ailments, not to mention mental problems, throughout one's whole life.
In a nutshell, traumatic experiences throughout childhood leave a person with a fragmented foundation for the remainder of their life. The environment in which we are brought up, as well as the feeling of safety that this environment either fosters or destroys, has a significant bearing on the mental and, at times, the physical road that we travel as adults.
Difficulties and Reminders
When children go through traumatic events, it may kick off a chain reaction of changes in their life, some of which can be hard and stressful. The place they call home, the people they call roommates, the schools they attend, and even their everyday habits may all be subject to change. It is possible that they are currently coping with an accident or impairment that affects either themselves or another person. There could be some legal action going on right now, whether it be civil or criminal.
Some of the traces of a traumatic incident might linger for a long time after it has passed. These reminders are connected to different parts of the traumatic event, as well as the circumstances surrounding it and the aftermath of it. Children may be brought back to the memory of traumatic events by people, places, objects, circumstances, anniversaries, or even sensations such as a rekindled sense of dread or despair. Increases in heart rate and other physiological sensations, for example, are both examples of physical responses that might function as reminders. Understanding the causes of and fluctuations in children's discomfort, behavior, and functioning may be greatly aided by identifying their reactions to reminders of trauma and loss. Trauma and loss reminders may ripple through families, friends, schools, and communities, affecting children, families, and communities' recovery. It is essential, in order to enhance continuing adjustment, to deal with reminders of traumatic events and losses.
Both Dangerous and Helpful Elements
Even when young people are exposed to stressful experiences, there is no guarantee that they will go on to acquire post-traumatic stress disorder. There are a number of variables that may contribute to symptoms, one of which is whether or not the kid has previously been exposed to traumatic events. Protective factors, which can be found at the levels of the child, the family, and the community, can lessen the negative effects of traumatic experiences. The following are some things to take into consideration:
The gravity of the situation. How significant was the occurrence? How severely was the kid or someone else that she cares about injured physically? Was there a medical emergency that required them or a loved one to seek medical attention? Were the police called to the scene? Were the youngsters taken away from their caretakers at any point? Were they questioned by a guidance counselor, a school administrator, or a police officer? Have you lost a close friend or a member of your family?
Closeness to the event being held. Were you able to confirm that the youngster was there when the incident took place? Were they themselves a victim of the occurrence, or did they see it happening to another person? Did the youngster see what happened when it was shown on television? Have they overheard one of their loved ones discussing what took place?
Reactions of those providing care. Did the kid's relatives think the youngster was speaking the truth about what happened? The child's responses were taken seriously by the carers, right? How did the caretakers react to the demands of the kid, and also how did they personally deal with the traumatic event?
A previous history of traumatic events. It is more common for children to acquire symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) if they are repeatedly exposed to distressing situations.
Aspects pertaining to one's family and community. It's possible for a child's heritage, ethnicity, and race to operate as a protective factor for them, their family, and their community. This means both children and families may have attributes or resources that assist them buffer against the potentially damaging consequences of traumatic events and the aftermath of those experiences. The child's cultural identification might be a protective factor and is one of the elements listed below. Culture has been shown to positively influence how children, families, and communities react to, cope with, and ultimately heal from traumatic experiences. On the other hand, exposure to racist and discriminatory behavior throughout childhood might make a kid more likely to develop post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Let's speak about how we can find out how our childhood influences are influencing us in our life purpose now that we have a basic understanding of the concept of traumatic experiences in infancy.
Indices of unresolved traumatic experiences from childhood in adults
The following is a list of signs that an adult still carries unresolved trauma from their childhood:
Drug usage, reliance, or abuse
Conditions related to anxiety, depression, or personality
Problems with behavior as well as emotional immaturity
Incapacity to handle confrontation or disagreement in any kind
“Depression, COPD, asthma, renal disease, stroke, CHD, cancer, insulin resistance, and overweight are only few of the illnesses on the list of unfavorable effects of poor health. Women and members of underrepresented groups are more likely to have four or more negative events during their formative years (ACEs).” (“Childhood Trauma and Its Effect on Adulthood - CONCEPT Professional Training”)
“The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hypothesizes that treatment of traumatic childhood experiences may serve as a preventive approach, hence possibly lowering the number of unfavorable outcomes associated with childhood. This number accounts for as many as 21 million cases of depression, 1.9 million instances of coronary heart disease, and 2.5 million instances of obesity or overweight.” (“Childhood Trauma and Its Effect on Adulthood - CONCEPT Professional Training”)
There is help available if you're dealing with the mental and emotional fallout of a difficult upbringing. In case you experienced trauma as a youngster, here are seven strategies to overcome it and go on with your life.
1. Admit and acknowledge the traumatic experience for what it really is. In the aftermath of a traumatic experience in childhood, it's common for victims to spend years either denying the tragedy had occurred or internalizing negative emotions like guilt and shame. The first step toward recovery is realizing that something awful has happened and that you are not to blame.
2. Regain control. It is possible for feelings of powerlessness to persist long into adulthood. This may cause you to feel and behave like a victim for the rest of your life, leading you to make decisions based on the hurt you experienced in the past. When you're a victim, your history dictates how you experience the current moment. Yet, once you have achieved victory over your suffering, you will have complete control over the current moment. If you are ready to say goodbye to those old defenses and crutches that you used as a kid effectively handle the trauma, you will be able to regain control of your life today and heal your pain. There may always be a conflict between the past and the present, but if you are willing to let go of these old defenses and crutches, you will be able to heal your suffering.
3. Look for people to support you and avoid isolating yourself. Many people who have survived traumatic experiences have the natural urge to isolate themselves from other people, but doing so can only make matters worse. Connecting with other people is an important aspect of the healing process; thus, it is important that you make the effort to preserve your connections and seek help. Discuss your feelings with a trusted member of your family, close friend, or counselor, and think about becoming a member of a support group for adults who have overcome childhood trauma.
4. Pay attention to your physical well-being. If you are healthy, you will have a greater capacity to deal with the negative effects of stress. Create a schedule for yourself that enables you to get enough of rest, consume a food that is well balanced, and frequently engage in physical activity. First and foremost, abstain from drinking alcohol and using illegal substances. These things may help you feel better temporarily, but in the long run, they will only make your emotions of melancholy, anxiety, and loneliness worse, and they may make your trauma symptoms much worse.
5. Get an understanding of the full significance of accepting and letting go. Only because you accept something does not imply that you are embracing your trauma, that you like it, or that you are in agreement with it. When you accept something, it indicates that you have made up your mind on what to do with it. You may chose to let it govern your life or you can decide to let it go. Letting go does not imply saying "poof!" and expecting it to vanish into thin air. The act of letting go is deciding that you will no longer let the negative emotions and recollections of a troubled upbringing keep you from having a happy life in the here and now.
6. If you have poor habits, replace them with positive ones. As emotions become too difficult to bear, some people resort to substances like alcohol or narcotics, while others develop negative tendencies like continually mistrusting others or being pessimistic. Breaking bad habits may be difficult, particularly if the person relies on those patterns as a crutch to assist them avoid repeating the pain and trauma they experienced as a kid. You may develop the skills and acquire the tools required to break undesirable behaviors and replace them with healthy ones with the assistance of a therapist or a support group.
7. Exert patience with oneself at all times. If you had severe trauma as a kid, you may have developed emotions that are out of control, a pessimistic outlook on life, defensive mechanisms, and distorted views that are difficult to let go of. To be able to let go of these sentiments will need a lot of time and effort on your part. Be patience with yourself and acknowledge every improvement, no matter how little it may seem. Your long-term success in recovering from the trauma you experienced as a kid will be directly correlated to your ability to achieve little wins along the way.
Affirmations for HEALING YOURSELF
My desires and requirements are of equal significance to those of everyone else.
My emotions are my body's way of communicating vital information.
My emotions matter.
I am a real human being who has sentiments and requirements of my own.
It would be to your advantage to get to know me.
I am a charming and loving person.
I am the sole one accountable for ensuring that all of my requirements are satisfied.
Putting my own needs before those of others is not an act of selfishness but rather of responsibility.
It takes courage to admit that you need assistance and seek it out.
It's impossible to be right or wrong about how you feel. They do not change.
I am pleased to say that I am a person who feels things really strongly.
All human people make blunders. What is important is that I grow from my mistakes.
I am entitled to have my needs met.
Even if my emotions are repressed, I am aware that they exist and recognize their significance.
Every emotion may be brought under control.
Sources:
DH, MHC @. “How Childhood Trauma Affects Us as Adults | Mental Health.” Mental Health Center, 3 Apr. 2019, www.mentalhealthcenter.org/how-childhood-trauma-affects-adult-relationships.
“About Child Trauma.” The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 22 Jan. 2018, www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/about-child-trauma.
“Childhood Trauma and Its Effect on Adulthood - CONCEPT Professional Training.” Childhood Trauma and Its Effect on Adulthood - CONCEPT Professional Training, 23 Feb. 2023, concept.paloaltou.edu/resources/business-of-practice-blog/childhood-trauma.
If you enjoyed this, you may also like these blogs about art, travel, American cuisine, daily inspirations, and useful information to help you shift your mindset.
Diary of a Female Player
Non-Fiction Stories about my life and how I overcome the addiction for Men's.
Exploring the US in a Budget
After losing all of our worldly possessions in a house fire in 2022, we officially retired and made the decision to rebalance our lives and begin creating memories. You can find destinations we visited throughout the United States in this blog. Being broke and traveling within our means and on a BUDGET.
Personal Life Coaching
The Way of the Wise Owl is a nonprofit business that provide Life Coaching services. As a Master Life Coach, I specialized in the following topics: forgiveness, happiness, mindfulness, goal success, re writing your life story, life purpose, spirituality, confidence, mindset, self-care.
Español Life Coaching
The Way of the Wise Owl es una empresa sin fines de lucro que brinda servicios de Life Coaching. Como Master Life Coach, me especialicé en los siguientes temas: perdón, felicidad, mindfulness, éxito de metas, reescribiendo tu historia de vida, propósito de vida, espiritualidad, confianza, mentalidad, autocuidado.
Short Story: The Truth About My House Fire
By transforming this tragic incident into something positive, we were able to be happier and have a stronger relationship. We are revealing our story of how we overcame losing our home in a fire at the beginning of 2022.
Daily Affirmations and Daily Journaling Prompts English/Español
Weekly, I'll share journaling prompts and daily affirmations on this blog to assist you in shifting your mindset.
— The Way of the Wise Owl by Dagmarie Daniels