Our veterans deserve real, compassionate mental health care, yet too often, they face quick fixes and dismissive attitudes from the very professionals they trust for support. I’m sharing a personal experience today that opened my eyes to some of the struggles veterans face within the VA system. My husband, a veteran who’s bravely confronting his mental health challenges, had an encounter that made me realize how much more needs to be done to provide our veterans with meaningful care and support.
A Troubling Experience in the VA System
Recently, I accompanied my husband to an appointment with his VA therapist. My husband has faced some tough challenges: he’s survived two suicide attempts Despite these victories, he continues to struggle with underlying mental health issues, and he turned to the VA for help.
We went into the session expecting to find empathy and guidance, but instead, we encountered a shocking lack of sensitivity. The therapist made a flippant comment, saying, “The VA doesn’t want you to die on their watch.” It was a painful and careless statement, especially given my husband’s recent mental health battles. When I confronted her, she dismissed it as a “joke” and even suggested that if I reported her, she would deny ever saying it.
As if that wasn’t enough, she followed up with another insensitive remark: “Hopefully, you don’t go home and start drinking.” This was particularly hurtful since my husband is actively working to overcome his addiction of alcohol that been dealing with for the past year. For him, every day sober is a hard-won victory, and this comment undermined his efforts. It showed a profound lack of understanding of his struggles and what he needed from her as his therapist.
Why Real, Compassionate Care Matters
Our veterans have given so much, and they deserve care that acknowledges their service, respects their struggles, and truly supports their healing. While I know there are many dedicated providers out there, these types of encounters are a reminder that the system can fall short. Quick fixes or casual remarks don’t address the real challenges veterans face, and in many cases, they can be damaging.
This experience has shown me the importance of advocating for real, compassionate care – care that isn’t just about “patching up” our veterans but about guiding them toward lasting healing and stability.
What Family Members Can Do to Support Veterans
For those of us with loved ones who have served, it can feel overwhelming when they don’t receive the care they need. However, there are ways we can support them and advocate for better treatment:
Attend Appointments When Possible: Being present can help ensure they’re receiving the support they deserve. Speak up if something feels wrong or insensitive. Your loved one may feel more comfortable knowing you’re there to help hold the provider accountable.
Educate Yourself About Their Struggles: Veterans often face unique challenges such as PTSD, depression, and addiction. By understanding what they’re going through, we can offer them empathy, support, and guidance. This knowledge also empowers us to help them advocate for their needs effectively.
Hold Providers Accountable: If you or your loved one experiences dismissive or harmful treatment, don’t be afraid to report it. Write down exactly what was said, the date, and other details. The only way the system can improve is if we demand that it does. Our veterans deserve providers who approach their care with genuine respect and compassion.
This link can walk you through to submit any concerns in treatment: How To Get Help With Concerns At A VA Health Facility | Veterans Affairs
For contact information you can contact your local VA health Facility, and they can transfer, the number I used to report the concerns was (800) 698-2411, when I called, I kept listening to the prompt until it took me to the VA Hotline. If you have any detailed information for this, do not hesitate to let me know to update this information.
Seek Alternative Resources: If the VA falls short, consider exploring other options. Many organizations outside the VA specialize in veteran mental health care. These groups often understand the specific needs of veterans and provide the level of care that may be lacking elsewhere.
Wounded Warrior Project helped my husband getting a civilian counselor and they also have many other services that might help you or your loved ones. This is the number for the resources center 888.WWP.ALUM (997.2586) or 904.405.1213.
Website: Veterans Charity - Non Profit Organization for Veterans | Wounded Warrior Project
Celebrating the Small Victories
Supporting a loved one through mental health challenges is never easy, but we need to recognize their efforts. My husband’s journey with sobriety and his willingness to keep seeking help are incredible achievements. It takes strength and courage to keep going, especially when facing an uphill battle.
To all veterans out there: we see your struggles, and we value the service you’ve given. You deserve care that genuinely supports you and a system that helps you thrive. And to the mental health professionals working with veterans – please remember that these individuals are more than just patients. They are people who have already endured so much and who need your empathy and understanding, not just a quick fix.
Let’s Make a Change
It’s time to raise our voices for real, respectful, and compassionate mental health care for our veterans. They’ve earned it, and they deserve nothing less. If you’re a friend, family member, or caregiver of a veteran, I encourage you to stand up for them, educate yourself, and hold providers accountable. Together, we can push for change in a system that so often just “patches up” our veterans. Let’s ensure that they receive the support they need to truly heal.
Thank you for reading, and let’s continue to advocate for the respect and care our veterans have more than earned.
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